A new poem of ADHD

As I sit here in the early morning, I struggle with myself again.

Not in a way that others would understand or even recognize.

This is a struggle from within, with the enemy being my mind.

You see I forget or become distracted, and I cannot concentrate.

Why you might ask? That answer would be my ADHD/ADD.

I am not medicated you see, meaning I am SO very screwed.

Imagine having a plan or just trying to keep a train of thought.

Now continue this imagining, if you will, but throw in a twist.

What if your thoughts drifted at the slightest whim or cause.

Listen to your surroundings, observe it for a minute or two.

A click of a spoon on a mug, the cry of a bird, even an itch.

Anything noticed in that brief span will grab my attention.

I will become distracted and whatever it is, does not matter.

An example which I hope I can illustrate for you, the reader.

Is my morning thus far, my attempt to simply write this poem.

I have been 4 hours trying to keep my focus on these words.

But yet I have dealt with everything but what I had intended.

I have called the insurance, the school district, and my family.

My thoughts wander to my love and a talk we are to have later.

Plans for the house and deposit, writing for Kristin's brother.

Missing my kids, doing cleanup, getting exercise for the day.

All of this goes through my head while trying to keep writing.

My creative process is at best disjointed, at worst nonexistent.

I think the most difficult thing to live with, is the pain I cause.

My wife-to-be suffers through my absent minded behavior.

She tries to be patient, dealing with my partial conversations.

She listens to me say one thing when I mean something else.

Hears me start on a subject only to have me drift to another.

Or I might speak on a subject we have talked about already.

I cannot imagine what that would be like, to be around that.

My frustration is with knowing this and not able to correct it.

I am not sure what to do, as even medicated it still shows up.

Granted it is nowhere near as bad when I am on medication.

But, I am haunted still by the daily issues that arise from it.

So, that is my trial with ADHD and how it destroys my life.